The (sci-fi) Writer's Manifesto

Note:  This is an older post which somehow got lost in the digital wasteland, so here it is again!

In the interest of improving the general quality of writing, I present to you a few small tips on writing good science fiction.  Please note:  a few small asides will be biased toward my own personal tastes in sci-fi.  If you don't agree, feel free to ignore these.  Generally speaking though, following these rules is imperative.

The (sci-fi) Writer's Manifesto


1.  Avoid Cliches
This might seem near impossible at first, but stick with me on this.  What I mean here is that you should avoid being a hack at all costs.  This means that, while you might use a cliche or two in your sci-fi story, the way you do it should be unique to your own writing style.  For example, your robots should be different from any other writer's robots.  If they aren't you have a serious problem with your story.  While it may feel familiar to the reader, your story should never feel as if it's been done before.

2.  No Substitutions
The following words should no longer be accepted in any work of science fiction:  frag, frak, shizz, zark, and space, when used in place of a swear word.  Everyone knows the words you really want to write, so either use them or don't.  Using words like 'frag' will make your story read like a Lobo comic.  (this is probably not something you want, unless you're going for irony)  At worst, you will sound like a smartassed 12 year old trying to swear on a technicality at the dinner table.  ("But frag isn't a bad word, dad!  I didn't say the real word, did I?)
It's annoying, and it takes the reader completely out of the story so stop it.  Now.

3.  Respect Science
If you're more of a hard s/f writer, you should already be doing this.
Faster than light travel is impossible, and lasers are not visible unless they have a surface to reflect off of.  These are common mistakes that often show up in sci-fi stories.  There's no real problem with this, since real science is often less exciting than science fiction.  However, if you are going to mess with the laws of physics, make sure you do your homework and make up a plausible explanation for your pseudo-science.  If you don't the science nerds will call you on it every time.

4.  Don't Get Technical
Hard sci-fi gets a bad reputation for being very technology/science oriented, and thus hard to get into.  The main reason for this is that writers get too technical with their mechanical/scientific descriptions and leave their characters reading the operating instructions for their starfighters.  The details of your laser arrays and ion propulsion systems will probably be incredibly interesting to you, but if it's not germane to the story, leave it out.  If you feel you have to have technical details, make sure they are engaging and interesting, or they will make your reader's eyes glaze over quicker than you can say 'gravitational shift'.

5.  Avoid Current References
Unless you're doing a story of futurism, it's your best bet to avoid making reference to any current trends, news topics, or technology.  That way lies destruction.  For example, many s/f writers in the 80s though it fashionable at the time to write stories referencing AIDS, either directly, or by metaphor.  At best, these stories look embarrassingly dated, even though they are set in the future.

6.  Know Your Limitations
Any sci-fi fan worth his salt loves a big, epic scale adventure.  The thing is, not every writer is capable of doing this properly.  If your story is a small one, don't try to make it into an epic series.
On a related note, too much artificial exposition explaining your world and how it works will kill your story.  If there needs to be exposition, work it into the everyday actions of characters.  Remember, this is their world, and they don't need to explain it to each other.  Your readers are surprisingly adaptable, and they will eventually get the hang of things without much hand-holding.  Frank Herbert's Dune is an excellent example of this concept at work.  While it does have a glossary for the technical types, one can read the entire book without looking at it even once and still enjoy the story.

Actually, I Don't Write Pornography...

Those of you who follow this blog may remember that I participated in NaNoWriMo last year.  Unfortunately, the working title for that story was Shades of Grey.  Those of you who know will see where this is going.  It seems that the latest sensation in the literary world is a certain piece of pornography erotica/fanfiction called Fifty Shades of Grey.  I suppose if I'd added that number to the title, I could be on my way to being rich via an IP lawsuit, but I digress.  At this point, I'd like to point out that Lorraine and Sara of the Snark Squad are doing a chapter-by-chapter review of the aforementioned book so that the rest of us don't have to soil our minds by reading it.  Seriously, I think they both deserve medals for doing this.  Having read their hilarious commentary (complete with actual excerpts, so you can see how bad the writing really is), here are my thoughts on the matter:
1.  What muppet wrote this nonsense?  Seriously, this novel has produced some of the most bafflingly stupid sentences I've ever seen in my life.  If I saw someone reading this in public, I'd be severely tempted to snatch the book from their hands and throw it as far away as possible to save their brain cells.  This leads me to my next question:
2.  What muppet reads this nonsense?  I mean, honestly?  Are people so bored with their lives now that they can't be bothered to use their imaginations, so they resort to badly written (and more to the point, completely unsexy) junk like this?  I know this sort of thing is marketed towards women, but given the choice, I'd take an old-fashioned Harlequin novel any day of the week.
3.  What muppet allowed this thing to be published?  This is probably the thing that frustrates me most about the whole thing.  It seems that the editors were left out of this process entirely, and it certainly shows.  Keep in mind, I can tell this just from reading small excerpts, so I cringe to think of what the full text looks like.  It kind of sickens me to think that awful writers like this are being published (and becoming popular) while far more talented writers are being completely ignored by publishers.
To summarize, the title for what could become my first novel has been ruined by a horrible writer, and I blame people with no taste in literature and the money men who allowed it to happen.  Finally, if you're still considering reading Fifty Shades of Grey, I implore you, please, please, for the love of all that's good in this world, DON'T DO IT!!  You'll thank me later.  

The Archives (vol.5)

Apologies for my recent absence everyone.  Rest assured, when I have something worthwhile to post, I will do so.  In the meantime here's another bit of foolishness I wrote in high school, with some small revisions just for fun.

Curing The Human Condition

It has come to my attention that a startling problem has developed in humanity.  It seems that people are much too easily offended.  You can't walk down the street these days without hearing cries of 'discrimination!' and 'harassment!'  So, I present to you, the real solution, genocide.  Oh yes, genocide.  We are all aware that human beings are the most damnable, stupid creatures, therefore wiping them out solves the problem.  If any people are to be spared, the following people will not die:  Bill Cosby, Stephen King, Counting Crows, Bill Murray, Bruce Campbell, all women I might deem attractive, the usual gang at 20sb, and myself.  Possibly Margaret Atwood, if I'm in a good mood.

Of course, the whole genocide idea would have its drawbacks, but believe it or not, there are things we could do without destroying humanity itself.  Through the use of gene altering, we could change our skin to be one uniform colour.  I suggest a drab colour like beige.  Better yet, grey, so we could look like X-Files characters!  The next step is unpleasant, but necessary.  We would have to undergo worldwide castrations and hysterectomies so we could all become sexless.  To reproduce, we would simply clone ourselves.  Religion would have to be universal, so perhaps we could worship, oh, a blue box of some sort.  (I believe the British already have one of these...)  One of the most important things to do is abolish the two most corrupting influences on earth:  politics and money.  After that, we could all live happily in a tribal society free from harm.  I suppose war would have to be stopped for this to happen, but that would be easy with politics and money out of the picture.  So, in this way, the world could live in peace and happiness without ever being offended again.

The Shortlist #4 - Comics

As I've mentioned here before, I'm a bit of a fan of comics and graphic novels.  Although they have gained more respect in literary circles in recent years, I still find this medium is somewhat marginalized by and large.  This is a shame because there are some incredible writers working in that industry who are very deserving of our attention.  This list is by no means extensive, but it should give you a good picture of the sort of incredible people working on comics today.

1.  Alan Moore
Honestly, there's not much I can say about this man that hasn't already been said.  He essentially revolutionized the way people looked at comics in the 80s with Watchmen.   Even if you're not into comics, I urge you to buy a copy of this and read it.  When you're done that, read it again.  I could probably write an entire post (or even a series) on the merits of Watchmen alone.  The most impressive thing is that in addition to writing the War and Peace of the comics world, Alan Moore didn't stop there.  He also has a few superhero storylines to his credit (the classic Joker story The Killing Joke, among others) as well as a number of other independent works, such as The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.  Forget the movie, the graphic novels are far, far better.  In short, Alan Moore a true renaissance man, and is the yardstick by which many creators measure their own worth, and rightly so.

2.  Mike Mignola
Like many others, I only became aware of Mignola's work around the same time as the Hellboy movie came out.  What impresses me most about Mignola's work is that he can bring the human element to his menagerie of weird creatures.  In reading these comics, you care as much about the monsters as the people involved, and it takes skill to do that in a genuinely convincing way.  Also, Mike Mignola has a great knowledge of mythology and folklore, and is always coming up with new and different ways to use it to strengthen the mythology of his own creations.

3.  Gail Simone
This woman is, in my opinion, one of the greatest writers in comics today.  Not only is she a woman working in a largely male-dominated medium, but she does an incredible job of it!  She writes characters (especially women) in such a complex, realistic way, one almost forgets the ridiculous parameters of the world they live in. (giant robots, alien crime-fighters, etc.)  I personally own the entire run (minus one or two issues, possibly) of her Secret Six series, and will buy anything with her name on it because she is just that good.    

4.  Ed Brubaker
Ed Brubaker is one of the most hard-boiled comic writers I know of.  He has a true talent for writing a mystery, which I first experienced reading his run of Daredevil.  He was also the driving force behind the 'Death of Captain America' storyline for Marvel, which I personally think was a terribly overlooked storyline. For the non-comics people, this storyline was essentially the JFK assassination of the Marvel universe.  The event reached far and wide, into various other titles, and left many heroes shaken and confused in the issues that followed.  Granted, he eventually came back, but the impact of the event was incredible, and created some major character changes that are still in effect to this day.

5.  Geoff Johns
Simply by reading one of his comics, you get the sense that Geoff Johns has a great enthusiasm for the characters he writes about.  There's always a sense of excitement and adventure in all of his work, and every book he writes is just plain fun to read.  His love of classic storylines (as illustrated in the Justice mini-series) is always evident, and he does a brilliant job of making old things new again, and reminding fans of why they like these characters.  Johns is something like the Steven Spielberg of the comics world: always excited about his work, and making great entertainment.

Long Vs. Short

There is a certain school of thought among writers that suggests that books considered a 'quick, easy read' are poor works of fiction at best.  While I understand the reasoning behind this, I personally disagree.
While it is often true that the 'quick, easy read' sort of books are poorly written, there are at least as many that are great works of fiction in their own right.  Consider film:  while it might be possible to condense a film like The Godfather down to about 90 minutes, it would not be nearly as good as it is in its proper running time.  Conversely, a great short film can't be stretched out into 3 hours without becoming boring, or even dissatisfying, at some point.  My point here is that stories take time to tell properly.  Sometimes this takes a lot of exposition, description, and various other techniques of the writer to let the reader fully understand the world that they're observing between the pages.  Other times, the story is simpler than that, so while explanations may be part of the story, they play a secondary role to the action and snappy dialogue.  When a writer mixes these two storytelling methods up, the reading experience is diminished, and can take a reader out of the story almost entirely.  If your secret agent is about to be shot by a hidden sniper, it's probably not a good idea to take a break to explain the sniper's backstory and motivation.  After the shots are fired, explain all you want to, and your readers won't be frustrated.
Getting back to my point, exposition is sometimes required for proper telling of a story.  This usually means that the story will become longer, and thus, more dense in terms of information.  A 'quick read' story concerns itself only with the pertinent facts, and doesn't take time to expand on smaller details.  I find that both approaches have their place, and are equally valid forms of storytelling.  A book that takes months to read can be just as entertaining as one that only takes a few weeks, or even minutes, in the case of short stories.  Personally, I like to balance out my reading between the long and short.  After something dense, such as Frank Herbert's Dune, say, I like to go with something a bit less dense, such as a pulp detective story.  One can be as satisfying as the other, and it's time people stopped judging books by thickness alone.

The Death of Creativity

First of all, I'd like to apologize to those of you who follow this blog.  I haven't posted nearly as much here as I'd like to.  I want to, but these days, I just can't find the energy or the enthusiasm to talk about writing much.  As well, I am suffering from a severe case of writer's block.  I'm loathe to use the term, but there's really no better description than that.  A large part of this is due to the emotional insanity that is my love life.  If you're curious and want to know more, click here, but don't say I didn't warn you.  Anyway, I am still having ideas, but it's more the matter of getting the words typed out that eludes me at the moment.  I'm sure this will pass in time, but it's becoming very frustrating not to be able to write, or even to get excited about writing the way I used to.

The Shortlist #3 - Staying Power

Every once in a while, there comes a book so well written that it stands the test of time and can be read years later and seem just as fresh and vibrant as on the first reading.  These works are a combination of good writing and originality that seems effortless, but is most likely very difficult to create.  Here are a few selections I find have the 'staying power' that I'm talking about.
Note:  I have chosen to include only stand-alone books for this list, and will probably do another post regarding series later.

1.  The Stand - Stephen King
I've mentioned the merits of this novel before, but the excellence of this piece bears repeating.  While it's probably impossible for one to remember every small nuance of this 1000-plus page monster, there are definite characters and scenes that will invariably stick out for each reader.  In fact, with such a sprawling cast involved, the strength of character on display in this book is a feat in itself.  In short, if you're a writer (especially if you write horror), and you haven't read this, please do so.

2.  Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep? - Philip K. Dick
While Blade Runner is an excellent film, the novel has much more to offer the mind of a writer.  Philip K. Dick creates a fascinating world of the future, which laid the groundwork for many other sci-fi classics to follow.  There are many layers of ideas at work in this book, which means that one can rediscover new things when reading it again.

3.  Breathers - S.G. Browne
I really can't say enough about this book.  In short, this story concerns a romance between the living dead, and it works wonderfully.  It not only mixes the most unlikely genres (horror/romance), but the writer does it in such a way that the story never feels silly in any way.  Not only that, but there are small touches that show the writer really took time to figure out how this world would work logically.  A very excellent read, and a dynamite first novel.

4.  1984 - George Orwell
Even some 60 odd years later, 1984 is the essential dystopian novel.  Not only is it terrifying for its vision of the future, but also for its similarities to modern times.  Highly powerful imagery and themes have made this book one that is still studied in schools today.

5.  Horns - Joe Hill
Horns is, at its core, a very simple story:  a man wakes up with horns, and discovers he's becoming a devil of some sort.  It's because of that simplicity of plot and imagery that this story works so well.  Joe Hill does a brilliant job of taking old folk-tales and bringing them into focus in subtle and unexpected ways, all the while terrifying the reader in the process.

6.  American Gods - Neil Gaiman
One of my favourite Gaiman works by far.  Like Horns, this story deals in mythology and folklore, but on a much grander scale.  This is the sort of book that may make you want to do your own research on mythology.  Brilliantly written, and thoroughly captivating.