The Worst Book I Ever Read

I read the book in question many years ago, and even though my memory has spared me many of the awful details of the story, I still remember it as the worst book I ever read.
Sadly, I can't remember the title of the book so as to warn you against buying it in a used bookstore somewhere.  What I do remember is the cover art.  It was a typical pulp sci-fi arrangement, probably a cheap ripoff of the Star Wars poster art.  As if that wasn't bad enough, the 'hero' of the story (more on that momentarily) looked like David Hasselhoff in that terrible Nick Fury movie from the mid-90s.

Startlingly similar to the actual cover art

Anyway, from what I can remember, the story concerned this eyepatch wearing mercenary type.  He was your typical pulp sci-fi mercenary badass type.  The thing was, his big ambition was world domination, for reasons I don't think were ever made quite clear.  It was a bit of a deviation from the standard setup, but I decided to stick with it, mainly because he was a badass, and I wanted to see what cool stuff he might do.  So, while Mr. Eyepatch is planning to invade Earth, or Earth's stunt double or whatever, a woman enters the picture.  Again, this woman fits your standard pulp profile:  smoking hot, and deadly.  But once again, there was a bit of a strange twist, because this woman was somehow even more evil than Mr. Eyepatch, and she corrupts him, and they start planning the invasion together.  At this point, Mr. Eyepatch's best friend, who is probably the only character in the entire book with any depth of character at all, starts to speak up because he realizes that his friend is going insane, and this skank he's hanging around with probably isn't helping.  The two have a bit of a heated discussion, and what does Mr. Eyepatch do?  He shoots his best friend in the head, and he and his evil girlfriend have sex on top of his corpse.  Yeah.  Seriously.
This was where I stopped reading the book out of disgust, and I almost never stop reading a book, even if it's not that great.  I almost wish I had it again, just so I could point out more explicitly how terrible this book was.  My brief plot summary should probably suffice, but it doesn't really cover the terrible pulp cliches, bad dialogue, etc. that infested this poor excuse for literature like so many termites in a lumber yard.  In fact, just to be extra clear about my feeling towards this book, I will suggest that the miscreant who wrote this garbage (if he's hasn't already killed himself for the greater good) be executed in the most painful manner possible, and all copies of this book and (heaven forbid) any other works he may have produced be destroyed forthwith.

What's the worst book you've ever read?